In my diary last night, I made up my mind and said "NO MORE!". And I converted to my "good eating habits". But I felt hungry as it headed into the night. I ignored it.... But then I started to feel uncomfortable. Just.... The loneliness of this journey I'm on got to me. Again, I tried to ignore it.
But then this pattern I have of goes something like this:
Oh, I feel really good that I did that today, I can spoil myself a bit
But a bit is always a lot!
So what, I have tomorrow to change
Yeah but you'll feel guilty
Naaaa, it'll be different this time
This self talk has kept me bound in myself for the longest of times. It seems harmless, but deep down I KNOW it's not harmless.
I'm aware of this. I'm aware of all of this. But I don't try hard enough to change it or stop it. I really don't. It's always about "tomorrow". But tomorrow doesn't exist, and is the devil of the present.....
Perhaps I'll look at discarding these things from my mind when I've finally had enough.... The thing is, I can even *hear* the Universe helping me. But because I don't want to listen, I turn a blind eye to it. And if anything, that's probably the worst part.
In any case, not going to get wrapped up in this guilt. I'll just keep moving forward.
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