*laughs to himself*
I wanted to put a picture of a rocket ship crashing down to Earth after take off, but then I started thinking "you ever seen a dick go limp" haha oh dear... Pathetic male mind (someone today shared with me that dipping your balls in ice water not only feels amazing, it also increases your testoesterone levels, which gives better concentration and focus - so it was on my mind all right, cut me some slack!)
How about something more G rated? Looks like my baby Hex price in 2021! Haha. After yesterday, where I got basically no sleep and pushed myself all day, today was a little different. When I woke up today, I was completely wrecked and decided not to go to the gym. Should I have gone? Probably. I bargained with myself and decided I would go on my day off instead. This threw out my whole routine.
A failed routine is a failed day?
Because it threw out my routine, I spiralled into "I'm a failure" mode. Sure, it wasn't as bad as it normally is, but still wasn't the best day. Instagram was a struggle, and I had a lot of inferior thoughts, limiting beliefs and self doubts. Also, throughout the day, my anger and frustration came up when I had a certain expectation about something being one way, and when it wasn't, I got angry quickly. After the anger came guilt and shame. The usual cycle.
As the day progressed, I craved some beer (to comfort myself). So I had some. I didn't really do that well in fighting it. Didn't even really try. (I confessed to a friend, but I was scolded for it.... So I think from here on out I need to really try to fight the mind). Then after alcohol, comes the food.
Can't have alcohol without food, right?!? It's bloody ridiculous. A chain reaction of bad habits. Failure -> inferiority -> overanalyzing -> anger / frustration -> guilt / shame -> alcohol / food. It's the E=mc2 of my filthy mind!
It all felt a lot less intense though, which is a big shift. Also.... When it came to food, I didn't go all the way with the burgers and whatever else. In fact, I even cooked myself a meal instead of getting a burger, and I only had 2 bites before I changed mym ind. It may not seem like al ot to you, but for me, it is. Another one of my habits is gluttony where I just have to finish it! so I felt that was a win.
Tomorrow is a new day!
I will wake up and I will go straight to HIIT class. Then I will get on with the day, gratefully, and see where it takes me.
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